Critical talks: update
Yes, there was an informal engagement last week, but that was on the edge of the periphery of the margin of the fringes of an event that both parties happened to be attending.
This week, the talks will begin in earnest. This, both parties insist, will be a serious attempt to create a new partnership.
The Editor appointed his negotiating team quickly. Himself. The Barstool Boyos, still fuming over their column being left out of the Roscommon People for two weeks in a row, initially appointed the Pub Bore as their Chief Negotiator, reckoning he would get the Editor to agree to some new deal through sheer force of boredom.
Then they thought better of it, and decided to represent themselves.
How it began
Thursday, 28th of November, had started out as a normal day. Over a week had passed since the boyos missed the deadline to register as candidates in the election.
It was a strange time. The boyos had expected their non-candidacy to lead to an outpouring of emotion from the public – and most likely civil unrest.
When that didn’t materialise, they put it down to people just being polite, not wanting to make the boyos feel stupid for missing the deadline (although the Pub Bore did send them a text: ‘You are stupid for missing the deadline’).
On November 28th, the boyos had gone for their routine Thursday afternoon walk… to coincide with the People arriving in shops. (This is only partly in anticipation of being asked for selfies; mainly so they can get their hands on a copy before the stampede).
They were stunned to discover that their column had been left out. Aghast, they saw that Page 2 was instead adorned with two fillers, one for the People’s Christmas magazine, the other to promote the paper’s election coverage. Talk about kicking the boyos when they were down!
How it continued…
It was a long week. Ever-diplomatic, the boyos hadn’t contacted the Editor over their column being binned (they left that to their solicitor).
But when their next column – in which they merely excoriated the Editor and told him to stuff his Christmas magazine – was also left out, what began as a once-off act of extreme impertinence became a scandal. For the first time, the boyos’ column had been left out two weeks running.
This week’s talks…
Some progress. The Editor has agreed to meet the boyos for talks. He is expected to explain why their columns were left out. Tentative new ‘Coalition’ talks may commence.
The boyos will go into the talks seeking parity of esteem (and a Christmas bonus, and ideally a barter account). They also want a company car by way of compensation for the embarrassment of recent weeks. Or at the very least a few pints on the Roscommon People over the Christmas.
To be continued…
